Military families share challenges of service

Sitting amid piles of boxes, current sophomore Kyle Crader unpacks in another unfamiliar house after moving back to Kansas in May 2014. He has had to leave everything he knows behind, including friends and school, due to his father’s career. However, this is a circumstance to which he has grown accustomed.

 Crader’s father has been in the military for 31 years and works as a contracting officer. Crader said that his father’s career impacts him most directly through where they live, which has included Virginia, the District of Columbia and Germany. According to edsource.org, children in military families move an average of six to nine times before graduating high school.

“I never really liked [moving] that much, considering it’s very hard to leave your friends behind and find new ones, and knowing that you’ll leave those behind,” Crader said. “You make friends fast when you’re in the military. They support you and know what’s going on.”

One drawback, Crader said, is not seeing family as much, which includes his father, who often travels on his own.

“My dad’s kind of protective over us,” Crader said. “But I think that when you’ve experienced a lot of stuff most people haven’t, you kind of would be paranoid.”

Crader said he gets worried about his father as well, since sometimes his father travels to active war zones. One misconception people often have, Crader said, is that he and his family know everything about his father’s military career, but he said this is not true.

“They think that we know everything that my dad does but actually we don’t really know much at all, only the most basic details,” Crader said.

Along with his father, Crader’s uncle, grandfather and other family members have served in the military, so he said he tends to take current events “more seriously than most people do, and [has] a stronger viewpoint of it.”

“Most people view world events from a bystander view, where it doesn’t really affect them,” Crader said. “But for me, if something happens over there, it directly affects me, and it affects my family.”

Another family affected by world events and the military is that of senior Avery Pollitt, whose older brother Adam has been in the Marines for four years, and eldest brother Jonathan will be entering the Navy in March. Avery said she has paid much more attention to what’s happening in the news after Adam joined the military.

“There was that hurricane that hit Haiti, not too long ago … and my brother was going to be deployed to Haiti for relief, to help with cleaning and stuff like that,” Avery said. “It’s definitely made me more aware of what’s happening … because there’s always that chance, even though his job isn’t necessarily to be out there; you just never know.”

While Avery said Adam did not end up going to Haiti, there is always a chance he could be in an area with conflict in a couple of months. This is a concern her mother, Cindi Pollitt said she has as well for her sons.

“With all that has happened in the world and with all that continues to happen and change with different countries and with ISIS, it is always a concern and constant worry that there may be that day that he would have to be deployed,” Cindi said.

Another challenge, Cindi said, was finding out how the whole military system works with enlistment and careers. Avery said before her brother joined, she never really paid attention to what goes on in the military, and “how important it really, truly is.” She said having a family member involved has really made her respect the people who have served.

“Before, I don’t think I really realized how difficult it was to be in the military, whatever branch you’re in,” Avery said. “Now I see; my brother will come home and tell stories about how his friends were deployed in whatever country and the things that they saw, and it’s insane. You never would think people would see that in real life. You hear about it, but you don’t really know how that person felt seeing it. Not that I didn’t appreciate military people or veterans before, but it’s made me respect them a lot more.”

Additionally, Avery said one thing she has appreciated more since her brother joined the military is family. She said while it is difficult to not have her brother around for holidays, such as Thanksgiving or Easter, she really appreciates the times she gets to see him.

“When we want to do a family thing, it has to be planned a year in advance so they can get home,” Avery said. “It’s really made our family stronger, and it’s made our love for each other stronger. ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder:’ that’s definitely true. It’s different because all my life, I’ve been with my family, and I’ve always valued being around my siblings a lot, and so with two of my siblings gone or leaving, it’s going to be harder to get used to.”

Avery said getting used to Adam’s absence was difficult as first, especially with her parents’ recent divorce, and him “always [being] that solid rock in [her] life”. Cindi agreed it has taken some getting used to, saying the family was excited for him but it was difficult to get used to the distance.

“There was a lot of uncertainty and sad feelings knowing he was going to be so far away, and we would have very limited contact with him at first and then of course, knowing that he would not be stationed close to home, so it was hard to know that we would not be able to see him much,” Cindi said.

While he was at boot camp, Avery said she could only send and receive letters from him, so it was difficult not being able to talk very often. However, Avery said she knew how much he wanted to serve and saw how rewarding the job was for him, something she said she knows Jonathan will find as well.

“Having a family member in the military is difficult: you don’t see them, and it definitely puts a little bit of a strain on your family at first, but the reward of serving — I can see it in him,” Avery said. “He absolutely loves it, and that it’s a rewarding job. There’s something that makes me proud, to see that in both my brothers, how they want to serve our country. It’s hard being a military family, but it’s made me appreciate family and my brothers and sisters and the military and veterans … and life a lot more.”